《I Don't Like an Argument》 我不想争论
”Gerald,“asked the teacher,”what is the shape of the earth?“
”It's round,“answered Gerald.
”How do you know it's round?“continued the teacher.
”All right,it's square then,he replied,I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it!
《Two Birds》 两只鸟
Teacher: ”Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which?“
Student: ”I cannot point out but I know the answer.“
Teacher: ”Please tell us.“
Student: ”The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.“
生难词：swallow n.燕子 sparrow n.麻雀
《Three Turtles》 三只乌龟
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one,"Go home and get the umbrella."
The little turtle replied,"I will, if you don't drink my offee."
"We won't,"the other two promised.
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle,"Well, I guess he isn't coming back,so we might as well drink his coffee."
Just then a voice called from outside the door,"If you do, I won't go."
生难词：turtle n.乌龟 biggest adj.最大的
smallest adj.最小的 umbrella n.雨伞
《Who Is the Laziest》 谁最懒
Father: “Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?”
Tom: “I don't know, father.”
Father: “Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?”
Tom: “Our teacher, father.”
《Who is Stupid》 谁愚蠢
A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying,"Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said,"Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"
"No,but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
《His Fault》 他的错
Billy:“ Mother, Bobby broke a window.”
Mother: “How did he do it?”
Billy: “I threw a rock at him and he ducked.”
《Tom's excuse》 汤姆的借口
Teacher: “Tom, why are you late for school every day?”
Tom: “Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, School-Go Slow.”
My uncle has 1000 men under him.
He is really somebody. What does he do?
A maintenance man in a cemetery.