逗乐的英语笑话
1
I was on Southwest flight this morning and the cabin crew were able to turn the usual, boring safety instructions into something interesting:
论如何把无聊的安全演示变得有意思：
It will really boost our ego if you PRETEND to hear the safety instructions.
如果各位能假装认真听我们的安全须知，我们的自尊心会得到极大满足。
If you don’t like our flight, there are eight emergency exits. Feel free to walk out any time.
如果你不喜欢我们的航班，飞机上有八个紧急出口。慢走不送!
pretend [prɪˈtend] v. 假装
ego [ˈi:gəʊ] n. 自我，自尊心
If there’s an emergency water landing, please put on the vest and paddle, paddle, paddle all the way until your reach the shore.
如果遇到水上迫降，请穿上救生衣，然后划啊划，划啊划，划到外婆家……(好吧~其实是划到岸边…… )
emergency water landing我们更习惯叫ditching，这更通俗咯~
paddle [ˈpædl] v. 用桨划船
In case the cabin pressure goes down, please put on your oxygen mask first and then assist your child. If you don’t want to assist the child, it’s OK – we will not judge you.
如果遇到释压，请自己先戴好氧气面罩，然后再帮你的孩子戴。不过如果你不想帮那个熊孩砸戴也无所谓啦，我们不会说您什么的。
(这一段简直是Ashley姐姐的最爱~!!!“不!不!经理!我神马都没说!”)
cabin pressure [ˈpreʃə(r)] 客舱压力
judge [dʒʌdʒ] v. 审判，评估;批评judge sb.是个很常用的短语哟~表示评判某人。
2
I was on a Southwest flight recently, which had been delayed by about an hour. One of the pilots came on as we were getting ready for takeoff, to apologize for the delay: “We are gonna fly this thing like we stole it!”
最近坐西南航空的航班延误了快一个小时，正当快要起飞的时候，一位飞行员为延误而向乘客道歉，他说：“我们会把这玩意儿当做是偷来的一样玩命开的!”
recently [ˈri:sntli] adv. 最近，近来
3
Shortly after 9/11, when most airlines were really struggling:
9•11之后大多数航空公司的`效益都不大好——此为背景：
“As we taxi out, we’d like those on the right side of the aircraft to press their faces against the window… We’d like to remind those other airlines what a full plane looks like.”
“在我们推出滑行的时候，请坐在客舱右边的乘客都把脸贴到窗户上。我们想让其他航空公司都感受下什么叫做满员的航班……”
struggle [ˈstrʌgl ] vi. 奋斗(但经常指 逆境中的)
4
On a flight from Orange County to Phoenix.
在一堂从橘子郡去凤凰城的航班上：
You might experience a fast rush during takeoff and when descending. They charge for that in Disneyland. BUT! With us – it’s free! Sit back and enjoy the ride.
在起飞和降落时您可能会感受到过山车一样的颠簸。这放在迪斯尼可是要收钱的。但是!在我们这里课时完全免费哦~现在请坐好，享受过山车之旅吧~
rush [rʌʃ] v.& n. 急速行进;冲
charge [tʃɑ:dʒ] v.& n. 充电;索(价)
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