英语幽默小笑话（双语）
一、Who Was the First Man 谁是世界上第一个男人.
A teacher said to her class:”Who was the first man?”
一个老师问她的学生：“谁是世界上第一个男人”
“George Washington,” a little boy shouted promptly.
一个小男孩立刻大声说：“乔治.华盛顿。”
“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently.
老师带着宠溺的笑容问这个男生：“你如何证明乔治华盛顿是世界上第一个男人呢。”
“Because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”
这个男孩子说：“因为，他是第一个挑起战争，第一个主张和平，并且是第一个深得民心的人。”
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand. “Well,” said the teacher to him, “who do you think was the first man?”
这时，有一个年龄稍大的男孩子举起手来，老师问他，“你认为谁是世界第一个男人?”
“I don’t know what his name was, ” said the larger boy, “but I know it wasn’t George Washington, ma’am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.”
男孩回答说：“我不知道他的名字，但是我肯定他不是乔治华盛顿，因为历史书上说，乔治华盛顿和一个寡妇结婚了，所以在他之前，当然还有一个男的啦。”
二、Drunk 醉酒
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
“可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
三、Goldfish 金鱼
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们?
Stan: In the bathroom.
斯丹：浴室。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办?
Stan: Blindfold(蒙眼睛) them!
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛!
英语单词讲解：
blindfold vt. (作名词时意思是眼罩)
1. (用布或带)蒙住…的眼睛;蒙住(眼睛)：
The victim was blindfolded.
受害者被蒙住了眼睛。
to blindfold the hostage
蒙住人质的眼睛
2. 妨碍视力;遮住(或挡住)…的.视线：
The tall man in the front blindfolded me.
前面的高个子男人挡住了我的视线。
3. 使不理解，使失去识别能力(或判断力、觉察力);使模糊不清;使迟钝;使迷惑;蒙骗：
to blindfold you to the true purpose of her invitation
被蒙蔽而看不出她邀你的真正目的。
四、Be careful with what you wish for 慎重许愿
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.
接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。
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