简短英语笑话

时间:2020-11-13 13:49:46 英语笑话 我要投稿

简短英语笑话集锦

  爆笑英语笑话篇幅很小,故事情节简单而巧妙,取得笑的艺术效果。下面应届毕业生小编为您整理的英语笑话。

简短英语笑话集锦

  他死了

  If you refuse to marry me, he swore, I shall die. She refused him. Sixty years later, he died. 如果你不答应嫁给我,他发誓,我就要去死。六十年后,他死了。

  帮我爸爸做我的家庭作业

  Jimmy: Hey, Amy, aren't you coming out to play? Amy: No, I have to stay in and help my father with my homework. 基米:嘿,艾米,你不出来玩吗?艾米:不了,我必须留在家里,帮我爸爸做我的家庭作业。

  我不敢想象

  Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from." 客人:“为什么你的狗狗坐在那儿老是看着我吃东西呢?”旅馆主人:“我不敢想象,除非是因为你拿了它经常用来吃东西的盘子了。”

  我不能说是哪一年

  Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year. Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes, but I can't say in which.手相大师:你手上的生命线显示出你还有一年将会死去。顾客:天哪,一年后?手相大师:是的,可是我不能说是哪一年。

  给我那个打赢的

  Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then.服务员,这个龙虾只有一只爪。对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了。哦,那给我那个打赢的吧。

  在电话本上

  Boy: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" girl: "It's in the phone book." Boy: "But I don't know your name." girl: "That's in the phone book too." 男:我想给你打电话。你的电话号码是多少?女:在电话本上呢。男:可是我不知道你的名字呀。女:也在电话本上呢。

  粗心的教授

  The absent-minded professor shouted: "Kate, come to the blackboard!" Another student says, "Kate is absent, Professor." "Silent! Let Kate speak for herself."粗心的`教授大声地喊道:“凯特,到黑板前面来!”另外一个学生说:“教授,凯特没来。”“别出声,让凯特自己讲。”

  我可以存多少钱

  Husband: Before I married you, I never thought of saving money.Wife: And now?Husband: Now I'm thinking About how much I could have saved if I hadn't married you.丈夫:在娶你进门之前,我从来没有想过要存钱。妻子:那现在呢?丈夫:现在我在想,要是没有娶你的话,我可以存多少钱。

  你踩到我脚了

  Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven't even touched your tooth yet. Patient: I know. But you are standing on my foot! 牙医:请不要再叫了,我都还没有挨着你的牙齿啊! 病人:但是,亲,你可知道,你踩到我脚了!!!

  慢行

  Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning? Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到? 汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着学校----慢行。

  A maintenance man in a cemetery

  He is really somebody My uncle has 1000 men under him. He is really somebody. What does he do? A maintenance man in a cemetery.

  他真是一个大人物,我叔叔下面有1000个人。他真是一个大人物。干什么的?墓地守墓人。

  Five Hundred Times

  In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."

  在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里,一位年轻女士被带到法官面前,她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释,她是一名学校老师,请求法官马上处理她的案子,以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠,说道:“你是学校的老师,对吗?女士,我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下,写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍。”

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