2016幽默英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子简短
爱笑的人，运气总不会太差，那么你喜欢笑么?这里小编收集整理了好些搞笑的笑话，一起来看看吧!说不定能点中你的笑血哦!
1
Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom?老师: 汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么?Tom: Men.汤姆:男人们。Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
老师: 答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢?Tom : Twins.
汤姆: 双胞胎。
2
Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody1 nose, black eye, and torn clothing.小彼得从操场回到家时，鼻子流血、黑眼圈及被撕破了衣服。It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. His father asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said Pete, "I challenged Larry to a duel2. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."
显然他刚与人恶斗了一番，而且打输了。父亲问儿子发生了什么事。“噢，爸爸，彼得说，我向拉里挑起决斗，而且我让他挑选武器。”"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."
“嗯，”父亲说，“这看上去很公平!”"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"
“我知道，但我没想到他选择了他姐姐!”
3
A man went to the doctor and explained, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
一个人跑到医生那里，说：“医生，我碰哪儿，哪儿疼。”
The doctor asked, "What do you mean?"
医生问，“什么意思?”
The man said, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, the pain is excruciating."
那个人说：“我摸我的肩膀的时候，真的很疼。摸膝盖的'时候——哎呀!摸我的前额，真的是钻心的疼。”
The doctor said, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"
医生说：“我知道是什么问题了——你的手指受伤了。”
4
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
一天，小女孩从学校回到家里，对妈妈说：妈妈，今天在学校里我因为一件我没有做的事情而受到惩罚。
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
妈妈激动地说：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老师好好谈一谈，对了，你没有做过的那件事是什么?
The little girl replied, "My homework."
小女孩回答说：我的家庭作业。
5
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
一天，教授正在给学生们监考。他发下试卷，然后回到讲台前等待。
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."
考试结束了，学生们纷纷交回试卷。教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票，还有一张纸条写着：“一分一块钱。”
The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.
第二堂课，教授把试卷都发回学生们手中。其中一个学生不但得到了试卷还得到64块钱的找零。
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