Teacher: This essay on your dog is, word for word, the same as your brother's.
Pupil: Yes, sir, it is the same dog.
Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pupil: Life imprisonment!
Teacher: Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Pupil: Because there were so many knights!
Teacher: What is the Great Depression?
Pupil: When you get a bad report card.
Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?
Pupil: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?
Pupil: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.
Teacher: Walter, why don't you wash your face? I can sec what you had for breakfast this morning.
Pupil: What was it?
Pupil:Wrong, sir. That was yesterday.
Teacher: Why are you late?
Pupil: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Pupil: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"
There was a little girl whose mother was very strict. Her mother tried to make her daughter behave in a very decent manner, but the girl was still three and half years old. One day the family went to a party, and in the middle of the party the girl cried, "Mommy I want to go restroom.” This drew a lot of attention and the mother felt embarrassed about her daughter. At home she advised that whenever she wants to go to restroom she should say, "I want to sing.”
After a couple of days the girl’s grandfather came to visit them. She liked her grandfather very much. At night, she slept with her grandfather, who put her to sleep with a story. After couple of hours, she woke up and said，"Grandpa I want to sing.”The grandpa was afraid of causing a disturbance past midnight if the girl began singing, so he told her in a very low voice, "Baby if you want to sing, sing in my ears.”