开心英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子
笑一笑十年少，有时候正儿八经的说笑话却觉得不好笑，可是一个很冷的笑话却能让自己笑良久，你有这样的经历么?现在，一起来开心爆笑下吧!
开心英语笑话大全笑破你的`肚子【1】
Who is stupid? 谁是傻瓜?
One day a college professor of Psychology1 was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?"
After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.
"Well, good morning. So, you actually think you're a moron2(傻瓜)?" the professor asked.
The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing3 there all by yourself."
一天，一位大学心理学教授向他的新生们问候。他站在学生们的面前说：“如果哪位同学认为自己傻，就请站起来。”
大约过了一分钟，一位年轻人站了起来。
教授说：“嗨，你好。你真的认为自己是个低能儿么?”
这个孩子回答道：“不是的，先生，我只是不忍心看着只有你自己站在这里。”
开心英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子【2】
Sometimes It's Hard to Know When to Stop
An old man went to the doctor and began to pour1 out his problems. As the doctor asked more about what was the matter with him, the old man said, "Well Doc, after I get to the first, I'm very, very tired. After the second, I feel all in(疲乏到极点). After the third, my heart begins to pound. After the fourth, I break out in a cold sweat2. And after the fifth, I'm soexhausted3, I feel like I'm going to die, right then and there(当场)!"
"That's incredible," said the doctor, "but how old are you?"
"Eighty-five," the patient said. And the doctor said, "Well, at 85, why don't you stop at the first?"
The man said, "I can't stop: I live on the fifth floor!"
一个老人去看医生，滔滔地讲述他的问题。医生进一步询问他的症状，他说：“医生啊!我上第一层之后，感到非常累!上了第二层，觉得快不行了!到第三层，心跳加剧!到第四层，大冒冷汗!到第五层，筋疲力尽， 感觉当场就要死了!”
“真不可思议啊!”医生说：“你今年几岁呢?”
“八十五”，病人说。医生说：“噢，八十五岁了!为什么你不一开始就停下来?”
老人回答：“我不能停下来，我住在第五层楼啊!”
开心英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子【3】
Fill it with water!
Osama Bin1 Laden2, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie3(妖怪，鬼) came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that's 3 together."
The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true.
President Bush said, "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said, "It's 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said, "Wow! That's a big bridge. Fill it with water!"
拉登，一个加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯。他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵，精灵说：“我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个。”
加拿大人说：“我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫，因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃。”精灵说了咒语愿望实现了。拉登看了很惊奇，他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗。精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了。
布什总统问：“精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情。”精灵回答：“墙厚50英尺，高500英尺，因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去。”布什总统说：“哇，那是座大桥耶。注满水!”
开心英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子【4】
Two Tickets Please
A young man was in love with a girl. At one weekend, he invited his girlfriend to the cinema. When they were at the ticket box, the young man said to the ticket seller1, "Two tickets, please. "
When the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had sold out, the disappointed young man said, "Then do you have any sur-tickets that can allow us to stand together?"
一个小伙子爱上了一位姑娘。周末，他请她看电影。来到售票处，小伙子对售票员说：“请给两张票。”
售票员告诉他所有的票都卖完了。失望的年轻人说：“那么，您有两张可以让我们站在一起的附加票吗?”
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