好笑的英语笑话故事

时间:2016-12-21 编辑:莹莹 手机版

  你知道学些笑话的好处么?当第一次见面的时候,总是有不知道该说什么的尴尬,这时候你就需要一些笑话,来缓解一下气氛呢,这里小编为你收集整理了好笑的英语笑话故事,希望能对你有所帮助哈!

  好笑的英语笑话故事一:The Foreman's Position 陪审团主席

  A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant1, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p. m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess2 and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.

  The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited.

  After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they got a verdict yet?"

  The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? Hell, they're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"

  在一个小城市,一位法官正在审理一起酒后驾车案件。被告不仅有过酒后驾车的记录,而且声誉也不是太好,现在只是缺少一个陪审团作出裁决。因为已经接近下午四点,找个陪审团来会耽误很多时间。因此,法官宣布休庭后,就到外面随便挑选了一些人来充当陪审团。刚一出门,他就发现大 厅刚好有12个律师,便请求他们充当陪审团。

  听了法官的话,这些律师们认为这将会是一次新奇的经历,因此,便跟随法官回到了法庭。不到10分钟,案子就已接近尾声,因为被告明显是有罪的。陪审团回到陪审室进行商议,法官就等着宣布结果,马上回家。每个人都在等待着最后的判决。

  大概过了3个小时,法官已经彻底失去了耐心,便派法警去看看判决为什么耽误了这么久。当法警回来后,法官问他:“怎么样?他们是否作出了最后的判决?”

  法警摇摇头说:“判决?天啊,他们为了推选陪审团主席,还在进行演讲呢!”

  好笑的英语笑话故事二:The Lawyer's Death Certificate

  A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner.

  The attorney asks, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?"

  The coroner says, "No."

  The attorney then asks, "Did you listen for a heart beat?"

  "No."

  "So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?"

  The coroner, now tired of the brow beating says, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."

  好笑的英语笑话故事三:sleep in the barn

  A police chief, a fire chief, and a city manager were traveling together by car to a municipal management conference in a distant city. Their car broke down in a rural area, and they were forced to seek shelter for the night at a nearby farmhouse. The farmer welcomed them in, but cautioned them that there were only two spare beds, and that one of them would have to sleep in the barn with the farm animals. After a short conference, the police chief agreed to take the barn. Shortly after retiring, a knock was heard on the door of the farmhouse. The party inside answered to find the police chief standing there, complaining that he could not sleep.

  There were pigs in the barn, he said, and he was reminded of the days when everyone called him a pig. The fire chief then volunteered to exchange with the police chief. A short time later, another knock was heard at the door. The fire chief complained that the cows in the barn reminded him of Mrs. O'Leary's cow that started the Chicago fire, and that every time he started to go to sleep, he started to have a fireman's worst nightmare, that of burning to death. The city attorney, in desperation for sleep, then agreed to sleep in the barn. This seemed like a good idea until a few minutes later, when another knock was heard at the door. When the occupants answered the door, there stood the very indignant cows and pigs.



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