英文的爆笑笑话大全
要是有一则笑话解决不了的事，那就两则笑话，看笑话，能让我们变得开心，今天小编为大家准备了英文的爆笑笑话大全，欢迎阅读!
英文的爆笑笑话一：To Profit from a Misfortune 因祸得福
A man was a butterfingers(手脚笨拙的.人). He had been suffering from unemployment for months.
At last he found a job in a chinaware house. He had worked only a few days when he dropped a large vase.
The manager summoned him to the office and told him that money would be deductedfrom his wages every week until the vase was paid for. He asked: "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." said the manager. "Oh, that's wonderful," he said happily, "I'm so happy that I have got a steady job at last."
有一个人很粗心，老是打烂东西。他已失业好几个月了。
最后他在一个瓷器店找到了一个工作。可是才干了几天，英语小故事他就打烂了一个很大的花瓶。
经理把他到办公室去，告诉他每个星期都要扣他的工钱，直到赔偿够了为止。他就问：“那个花瓶值多少钱?”经理说：“值500美元。”他很高兴地说：“啊!太妙了，我非常高兴，终于有个稳定的工作啦。”
英文的爆笑笑话二：交通事故
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ...hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold.
有个人开车行驶在上班的路上，一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车，当时他就不省人事了。
Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him.
路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。
He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics.
刚一醒过来，他就拼命的挣扎着，最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。
Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so.
过了一会儿，他平静了，别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎，
He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing.
他说：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，
I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'
当我醒过来，我发现我躺在了路边，前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌’，但是有个人挡住了那个s。”
英文的爆笑笑话三：离事故有多远?
A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed.
一位木匠正在为他目击的一起事故作证。
The judge asked him how far away he was from the accident.
法官问他当时离事发现场有多远。
The carpenter replied "twenty seven feet, six-and-one-half- inches".
木匠回答，“27英尺，6.5英寸”。
"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the judge.
法官问：“什么?你怎么能这样确定?”
"Well, I knew some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter.
木匠回答，“是啊，我知道一定会有傻瓜问我这个问题，所以我事先测量了一下。”
英文的爆笑笑话四：A drunk decides to go ice fishing 酒鬼钓鱼
A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the ice and begins to saw a hole.
All of a sudden, a loud booming voice comes out of the sky. "You will find no fish under that ice."
The drunk looks around, but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks, "as I said before, there are no fish under the ice."
The drunk looks all around, high and low, but can't see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one more time to finish.
Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice interrupts. "I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!"
The drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice, "how do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?"
"No," the voice replied. "I am the manager of this hockey rink."
一个酒鬼想在冰上垂钓，因此，他整理好钓鱼用具后，便四处去寻找钓鱼场所。最终，他发现了一大块冰，就跑到冰的中心开始锯洞。
这时，突然从天空中传来一个急速扩大的声音。“你是不会在冰的下面找到鱼的。”
这个酒鬼朝周围看了看，可是没有一个人影。他又继续锯了起来。那个说话人的声音再次响了起来：“我已经说过了，冰的下面没有鱼。”
那个酒鬼又向四周从高处到低处看了半天，可还是什么也没有看见。他又拿起锯继续往下锯。
他刚要锯冰面的时候，那个巨大的声音喝止他说：“现在，我第三次警告你，这下面没有鱼!”
酒鬼顿时有些惊慌失措，甚至恐惧起来，于是他问那个声音：“你是如何知道这下面没有鱼的?上帝呀，难道是你在警告我吗?”
“不是，”那个声音回答他，“我是冰球场的经理。”
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