超冷英语笑话

时间:2017-02-24 编辑:莹莹 手机版

  你知道学些笑话的好处么?当第一次见面的时候,总是有不知道该说什么的尴尬,这时候你就需要一些笑话,来缓解一下气氛呢,这里小编为你收集整理了超冷英语笑话,希望能对你有所帮助哈!

  超冷英语笑话一:Misbehaving Guide Dog

  A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's trouser leg.

  The man reached in his pocket and took

  out a doggie biscuit, which he fed to the dog.

  A busy body who had been watching ran up to him and said, "You shouldn't do that. He'll never learn anything if you reward him when he does something like that!".

  The blind man retorted, "I'm not rewarding him. I'm just trying to find which end is his mouth so that I can kick him in the ass".

  超冷英语笑话二:A better dishwasher 一台更好的洗碗机

  Mrs Williams lived in a small street in London, and now she had a new neighbour.

  Her name was Mrs Briggs, and she talked a lot about her expensive furniture, her beautiful carpets and her new kitchen.

  "Do you know," she said to Mrs Williams one day, "I've got a new dishwasher1. It washes the plates and glasses and knives and forks beautifully."

  "Oh? " Mrs Williams answered." And does it dry them and put them in the cupboard, too ?"

  Mrs Briggs was surprised. "Well," she answered, "the things in the machine are dry after an hour, but it doesn't put them away, of course."

  "I've had a dishwasher for twelve and a half years," Mrs Williams said.

  "Oh?" Mrs Briggs answered, "And does yours put the things in the cupboard when it has washed them?"

  She laughed nastily2. "Yes, he does," Mrs Williams answered."He dries the dishes and puts them away."

  威廉姆斯太太住在伦敦的的一条小街上,现在她有了一位新邻居。

  这邻居叫布里格斯太太,她对她的高档家具,漂亮地毯和新厨房谈论很多。

  “你知道吗?” 有一天她对威廉姆斯太太说道:“我有一台新洗碗机。它洗盘子、杯子和刀叉洗得非常好。”

  “哦?”威廉姆斯太太回答说,“它能弄干盘子、杯子和刀叉吗?还可以把它们放进碗柜吗?”

  布里格斯太太很吃惊。“ 嗯,”她回答说,“洗碗机里的盘子、杯子和刀叉一小时后就干了,但当然啰,洗碗机不能把它们收起来。”

  威廉姆斯太太说:“我有一台洗碗机已经12年半了。”

  “哦?”布里格斯太太回答说,“你的洗碗机在洗完盘子、杯子和刀叉后能把它们放进碗柜吗?”她不怀好意地大笑起来。

  “是的,他可以。”威廉姆斯太太回答说,“他把碗盘刀叉弄干后就把它们收起来。”

  超冷英语笑话三:The First Man

  A new TV game show in Hollywood had many contestants who were beautiful, but they weren't necessarilytoo smart. On one show, one such woman was extremely nervous, but tried to make the best of her performance.

  The host asked, "Who was the first man, for one thousand dollars?"

  She responded, "The first man was Peter, my postman, but he only paid me one hundred dollars!"

  超冷英语笑话四:Thirteen 十三

  A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum(精神病院) and he hears all the residents inside chanting, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!

  Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye.

  Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!

  一个人在精神病院的木围墙外路过,听见里面所有的人在唱,十三!十三! 十三!

  他很好奇,就找到围墙的一个洞,然后看进去。突然有个人捅到了他的眼睛。

  然后里面所有人开始唱,十四!十四!十四!

  


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