超冷英语笑话一：Misbehaving Guide Dog
A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's trouser leg.
The man reached in his pocket and took
out a doggie biscuit, which he fed to the dog.
A busy body who had been watching ran up to him and said, "You shouldn't do that. He'll never learn anything if you reward him when he does something like that!".
The blind man retorted, "I'm not rewarding him. I'm just trying to find which end is his mouth so that I can kick him in the ass".
超冷英语笑话二：A better dishwasher 一台更好的洗碗机
Mrs Williams lived in a small street in London, and now she had a new neighbour.
Her name was Mrs Briggs, and she talked a lot about her expensive furniture, her beautiful carpets and her new kitchen.
"Do you know," she said to Mrs Williams one day, "I've got a new dishwasher1. It washes the plates and glasses and knives and forks beautifully."
"Oh? " Mrs Williams answered." And does it dry them and put them in the cupboard, too ?"
Mrs Briggs was surprised. "Well," she answered, "the things in the machine are dry after an hour, but it doesn't put them away, of course."
"I've had a dishwasher for twelve and a half years," Mrs Williams said.
"Oh?" Mrs Briggs answered, "And does yours put the things in the cupboard when it has washed them?"
She laughed nastily2. "Yes, he does," Mrs Williams answered."He dries the dishes and puts them away."
超冷英语笑话三：The First Man
A new TV game show in Hollywood had many contestants who were beautiful, but they weren't necessarilytoo smart. On one show, one such woman was extremely nervous, but tried to make the best of her performance.
The host asked, "Who was the first man, for one thousand dollars?"
She responded, "The first man was Peter, my postman, but he only paid me one hundred dollars!"
A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum(精神病院) and he hears all the residents inside chanting, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!
Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye.
Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!