Where Have You Been?
Once upon a time, there was a man who always forgot things.
One day, he went out with his little son.
He was so happy that he put the son ride his neck.
After a time,he suddenly thought of his son, he asked people:
"Have you seen my child?"
One of his villagers laughed and said: "Don't you know he is on your neck?"
Hearing this, the man took down his son from his neck,
he was so angry that he hit the son, and then shouted:
"I have told you not to go here and there.
Where did you go just now?"
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译二：My Wife Will Exchange Them
A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
″Cloth or leather?″ asked the salesperson.
″Makes no difference? ″replied customer.
″What color?″ asked the clerk.
″Any?″ he responded.
″Give me whatever you prefer?″ the gentleman said? slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″
It was her first job as a secretary. Her short hand wasn’t bad, and her typing was quite good. But the boss noticed that she never answered the telephone. It rang and rang, and she never touched it.
“why don’t you answer it?” he called at last.
She came to the door of his office. “because it’s always for you,” she daid.
Boss: There are too many spelling mistakes in this letter that you have typed. There’s no excuse for that. You must use a dictionary when you are in doubt.
Secretary: But the trouble is that I am never in doubt.
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译四：传教士买鹦鹉A preacher is buying a parrot
A preacher is buying a parrot.
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.
"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."
"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"
"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.
Dear white, something you got to know
When I was born, I was black.
When I grow up, I am black.
When I’m under the sun, I’m black.
When I’m cold, I’m black.
When I’m afraid, I’m black.
When I’m sick, I’m black.
When I die, I’m still black.
When you were born, you were pink.
When you grow up, you become white.
You’re red under the sun.
You’re blue when you’re cold.
You are yellow when you’re afraid.
You’re green when you’re sick.
You’re gray when you die.
And you, call me color?