爆笑短英语笑话一：A blonde in Las Vegas
In Vegas, a blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.
She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, and of course the machine keeps popping out the drinks.
Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go.
The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: "Can't you see I'm winning?"
Our seven-year-old daughter was thrilled when we took her to Disney World for the first time and headed straight for Space Mountain.
I worried that the roller coaster would be too scary for her, but she insisted. To her delight, we rode it twice.
The next year we returned to the Magic Kingdom, and my daughter, now eight, again dragged me to Space Mountain.
As we stood in line, though, I could see her soberly studying the signs that warn about the ride's speed.
"Dad," she said, "I don't think I want to go." I asked her why she would be nervous when she had enjoyed herself last time.
She replied, "This year, I can read the big words."
爆笑短英语笑话三：Make your bed
My wife and I are teachers, and our jobs often spill over into our family life.
One morning, as our eight year old Maggie was getting ready for school, I peeked into her room just to be sure she had tidied it up.
"You call THAT a made bed?" I asked.
"No, Dad," Maggie replied. "It's just a rough draft."
爆笑短英语笑话四：Stranded on a desert island
A blonde, a brunette and a readhead are stuck on an island. For years and years they live there, until one day they find a magic lamp. They rub and rub and sure enough out comes a genie. The genie says "since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one."
The brunette goes first, "I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life-- I just want to go home" ... POOF she is gone.
The the red head makes her wish "This place sucks, I want to go home too" ... POOF she is gone.
The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie says to her "My dear what is the matter, "I wish my friends were here" ... POOF!!!
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.
She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep with Daddy."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaking little voice, "The big sissy."