幽默的英语笑话精选
笑一笑十年少，有时候正儿八经的说笑话却觉得不好笑，可是一个很冷的笑话却能让自己笑良久，你有这样的经历么?现在，一起来开心爆笑下吧!
幽默的英语笑话精选一：Buy a Parrot
A preacher is buying a parrot."Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher."Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him."Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.""Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?""I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.
一个传教士在买鹦鹉。“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。“哦，绝对不会。它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。”店主保证说。“你看见它腿上的这些细绳了吗?当你拉动右面的这根，它会背诵天主经，当你拉动左面的那根，它会背诵赞美诗”“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两条绳子，会发生什么呢?”“我会从树干上掉下去的，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。
幽默的英语笑话精选二：向肖伯纳求婚
Once a beautiful and dissolute British actress wrote to propose marriage to Bernard Shaw. She said she did not mind Bernard Shaw’s old age and ugliness because he was a genius. And if they could combine the beauty of the woman with the talents of the great man，that would be greatly harmonious. “With your wisdom and my appearance，our children must be perfect.”
英国有位美貌风流的女演员，曾写信向肖伯纳求婚。她说，因为他是个天才，她不嫌肖伯纳年迈丑陋。假如能使女郎的美貌和超人的.天才结合，那该是多么协调啊。“咱们的后代有你的智慧和我的美貌，那一定是十全十美了。”
Bernard Shaw answered，in a letter，that her imagination was splendid，“But，what if the children take my appearance and your wisdom?”
肖伯纳给她回了一封信说，她的想象很是美妙，“可是，假如生下的孩子外貌象我，而智慧又象你，那又该怎么办呢?”
幽默的英语笑话精选三：The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”
Who's More Polite?
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
谁更有礼貌?
一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。
幽默的英语笑话精选四：Dying Man
最后的坦诚
As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you thetruth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I wasworking late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept withdozens of them."His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you thepoison?"
一个男人在临死之前向他的妻子倾诉说：“我死之前必须告诉你一些事情的真相。在我们的整个婚姻中，我一直都在欺骗你。在那些我告诉你我会工作到很晚的夜里，我是和其他女人在一起。而且还不止一个女人。我曾经和很多女人睡过觉。他的妻子平静地看着他，说道：“你为什么没有想到是我给你下的毒药呢?”
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