要是有一则笑话解决不了的事，那就两则笑话，看笑话，能让我们变得开心，今天小编为大家准备了英语笑话大全爆笑死人，欢迎阅读!
英语笑话大全爆笑死人一：I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事?”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
英语笑话大全爆笑死人二：缠住不放
Returning from a golf outing(远足，短途旅行) , my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?
Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win, my husband hedged(避免作正面答复) . We just play to have fun.
Undaunted, Sare said, Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?
丈夫打完高尔夫球回来，我们四岁的女儿莎拉在门口迎了上去。爸爸，谁赢了高尔夫球比赛，是你还是理查叔叔?
我和理查叔叔打高尔夫球不是为赢，丈夫推诿说。我们打球只是为了好玩而已。
莎拉毫不气馁，又问：那么，爸爸，谁觉得更好玩呢?
有关于英语冷笑话带翻译：更强壮的一个
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger.
Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."
Bill wasn't impressed, "Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!"
维尔和比尔在争吵，谁的爸爸是更强壮的一个。维尔说：“你知道太平洋吗? 那个坑是我爸爸挖的。”
比尔不屑地说：“那没什么。你知道死海吗? 那是我爸爸打死的。”
英语笑话大全爆笑死人三：An Exact Number
A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur bones lying about.
"How old are these bones?" the tourist asked an elderly Native American, who served as a guide.
"Exactly one hundred million and three years old.
"How can you be so sure?" inquired the tourist.
"Well," replied the guide, " a geologist came by here and told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three years ago.
一位游客在新墨西哥游览。他对随处可见的恐龙化石甚感惊奇。
“这些化石有多长的历史?”游客问一个上了年纪的当地美国人。他是作向导的。
“整整十亿零三年了。” “你怎么这么肯定?”游客问道。 “哦，”向导回答道，“一个地质学家来过这儿，他告诉我说这些化石有十亿年了，再加上那是整整三年前的事了。”
英语笑话大全爆笑死人四：逻辑推理
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
Here is the situation, she said. A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.
His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?
A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings?
小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。
他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么? 一个女生举手答道，是不是去取他的存款?
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