风趣英语短笑话
人生在世，难免会有不开心的时候，这种时候，一则笑话能让我们变得开心，今天我们就一起来看看风趣英语短笑话吧!
风趣英语短笑话(一)
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
"He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."
"No, no, that's quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!"
"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father. "You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."
杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
“他是个好孩子，”杰克的'父亲说：“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。”
“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答。“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。”
“先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说：“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
风趣英语短笑话(二)
In 2005 Japan made a new robot. It can take care of a child. The new robot is called iPapero. It weighs 13.2 pounds, and has a body of 15.2 by 10.3 and by 9.8 inches.
2005年，日本制造了一个新的机器人。它会照看小孩。这个新机器人叫做iPapero。它13.2磅重，身体是15.2×10.3×9.8英寸。
iPapero is a small robot, but it has many special skills. It can recognize and remember up to ten faces and use its eight separate electronic ears to understand human voices even in noisy situations. It also plays games with children when they are unhappy, or sing songs or ask quizzes to entertain the child. If the child is bored, iPapero will change new songs and quizzes so that it doesn't repeat itself. The robot babysitter even has a cell phone to call a parent when the child asks for his mother.
iPapero是个小机器人，但它有很多特殊的技能。它能识别和记忆多达十张脸，即使是在吵闹的情况下，它也能用它八只分开的电子耳朵听懂人的声音。当孩子们不高兴时，它还和他们玩游戏、唱歌或猜谜语让他们开心。如果孩子感到无聊了，他会换新的歌和谜语，这样就不会重复。这个照看小孩的机器人甚至还装有移动电话，当孩子找妈妈时，可以用它打电话给父母。
风趣英语短笑话(三)
他去吃早餐，他想要2片面包，服务员只拿了1片，他说“I want two pieces ",服务员听成了“I want to piss”(我想拉屎)。他又说“I want two pieces on my plate"，然后服务员就骂他“you're a son of bitch”(你这狗·娘·养的)。
他认为服务员说他是“son of a beach(海滩)”。然后他又去吃饭了，服务员只拿了勺子和刀，没有叉子(fock)。他说“I want a fock”，服务员听成了“I want to fuck”，服务员回他说“everyone want to fu·ck",他又说“I want a fock on the table",服务员听成了“I want to fu·ck on the table"。回到房间，床上没有床单，他说“I want a sheet",服务员听成了“I wanna shit(屎)”。
最后他来到前台，工作人员向他说了句客套话“peace on you”，他却认为在骂他“piss on you。”，骂了人家一句“son of bitch“"我要回意大利!”
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