A shop owner closed his shop and went home. He was very tired but just as he went to bed, the telephone rang. A man asked, "What time do you open your shop?"
The owner was angry about this phone call. He put down the telephone without answering and went back to bed. A few minutes later, his telephone rang again and the man asked the same questions. The owner became very angry and he shouted, "You needn't ask me when I open the shop for I won't let you in."
"Oh, no, I don't want to get in," the man said, "I want to go out now . "
An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on the 30th floor of a building.
The Irishman opened his lunch box and said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch b box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too, the blonde opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death also.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping, she says, "if I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!" the Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," She said. "He made his own lunch."
Maxine, the platinum blonde, reported for her final examination which consisted of Yes/No answers. She took her seat in the examination hall, stared at the question paper, and then in a bit of inspiration, took a quarter out of her purse. She started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet" Yes" for heads and "No" for tails. Within 30 minutes she was all done whereas the rest of the class was still sweating it out. During the last few minutes of the exam period，Maxine frantically started flipping the coin again.
The moderator, concerned about what she was doing, stopped by her desk and asked if she was ok.
"Oh yes, I' m fine. I finished the exam a half hour ago一but,”explaining the frantic coin tossing, "I' m going back through and checking my answers!”