One day a man came home from work to find total chaos in the house. The kids were laying outside in the mud, still in their pajamas.
When he opened the door, he found an even bigger mess: dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table and a pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys, and a lamp had been knocked over.
He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she might be ill or that something terrible had happened to her.
He found her in the bedroom still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a magazine.
She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day had gone.
He looked at her, bewildered(困惑的), and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know, every day, you come home from work and ask me what I did today."
"Yes," was his reply.
She answered, "Well, today, I didn't do it!"
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog.
He watched the game in astonishment for a while.
"I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."
"Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
"Well，it dates back to our honeymoon,”explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by pack mule. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said, ‘That's once' .We proceeded a little further and the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, `That's twice.’We hadn't gone a half一mile when the mule stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her pocket and shot the mule dead. I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, `That's once'.”