英语冷笑话之I don't think I know
1、Joke: How old am I?
A 47 year-old lady gets a facelift. It turns out very well and she enjoys showing off her new look.
She goes to the newsstand and asks the man, "Sir, how old do you think I am?" The man replies, "You're 30, right?" She says "No, I'm 47, but nice try."
The next day, she goes to McDonald's. She orders her lunch and asks the young man at the counter, "How old do you think I am?" The man replies, You're 37, right?" The lady says "No, I'm 47, but good guess."
After lunch, she gets on the bus and she asks an 85-year-old man how old she is. He replies, "Lady, I can tell how old any woman is by sticking my hand down her panties." So, quietly and quickly, she lets him do so. He thinks a moment and announces, "You're 47!"
The lady, astonished, asks, "How did you know?"
The old man replies, "I was standing right behind you at McDonald's."
2、英语冷笑话之I don't think I know
Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
John: "What do you think it is, sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"
老师：“John，动词ring的过去分词是什么?”。
约翰：“你想它是什么呢”?
老师：“我不用想，我知道!”。
约翰：“我想我不知道”。
3、Improvement
mprovement
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"
"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."
进步
一位学生对另一位说：“你的 英语 最近学的怎么样?”
“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”
4、Two Pieces of Cake 两块蛋糕
Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
两块蛋糕
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
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