英语笑话_笑话网

英语笑话

英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法,用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。幽默寓于笑话之中,它是笑话的精料,智慧之所在。笑话是幽默的载体,一个成功的笑话能流传千古,听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜,拍掌叫好!
英语笑话

1英语笑话短文

1、The Fish Net

Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

鱼网

你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安? 老师发问道。

把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。 小女孩回答道。

2、The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....

新老师

9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。

乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗? 妈妈问。

妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。

2英语笑话带翻译

《律师、宝马和胳膊》

一个律师打开他的宝马车门,突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了,警察赶到现场,律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。

“警察同志,看看他们把我的车弄的!!!”律师哀怨地说。

“你们律师真是物质至上,我很不舒服!”警察反驳说,“你这么关心你可恶的宝马,你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。”

律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀,“天哪,我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

《狗住旅店》

一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信,“我非常希望带着我的狗,它很干净很有教养,你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”

旅馆主人立即回了封信,“我经营旅馆很多年了,狗从没偷过毛巾,床单, 餐具,或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它,狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆,如果它为您担保,也欢迎您来。

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

发布时间:2017-12-03英语幽默笑话叉腰

Just like most of other kids, aged two Emilia didn t like washing hands──she s always wiping the dirt off hands on her clothes. One day I accompanied her to have fried cicadae(蝉). Habitually she ...

发布时间:2017-12-02带翻译的英语笑话3篇

笑话(jokes)指能引人发笑的谈话或故事,篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,取得令人捧腹的艺术效果;笑话大多揭示生活中荒谬的现象,具有讽刺性和娱乐性。小编精心收集了英语笑话带翻译,供大家欣赏学习! 英语...

发布时间:2017-12-02一些英语笑话翻译

译篇一 before the final examination, tom told his mother, mom, i had a dream last night that id passed todays exam. 在期末考试之前,汤姆告诉他的母亲:“妈妈,我昨天晚上做了一个梦,梦见我通过了今天的考...

发布时间:2017-12-01他们很忙英语笑话

One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered. May I speak to your parents? Theyre busy. Oh. Is anybody else there? The police. Can I speak to them? Theyre busy. Oh. Is anybody else there? The fi...

发布时间:2017-12-01英语幽默笑话兔子的论文

Its a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.这是一个阳光灿烂的晴朗日子,森林里一只小兔子坐在洞穴...

发布时间:2017-12-01A school report英语笑话

A School-report The father was reading the school-report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful as he read: English, poor, French, weak, mathematics, mathematics, ...

发布时间:2017-11-30英语幽默笑话谁的儿子最伟大

The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. My son is a monsignor, said the first proud woman. When he enters a room, people say, Hello, Monsignor. The second mother went ...

发布时间:2017-11-30小孩子之间的英语幽默笑话

1. Betty:I fell last night, unconscious for eight hours. 贝蒂:“我昨晚摔了一跤,昏迷了8个小时。” Hetty:How dreadful! Where did you fall? 赫蒂:“真可怕!你在哪里摔的?” Betty:I fell asleep. 贝蒂:...

发布时间:2017-11-30英语笑话故事手抄报资料

英语笑话故事 He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: Thats too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of th...

发布时间:2017-11-29乌龙笑话小笨霖英语笔记

1. If you still dont pay the bill, I will call the collection. 如果你还是不打算付帐单的话,我就要打电话给催收部门了。 之前我的一个好友一直跟我抱怨,他说有线电视公司上个月时跟他推销一样产品,原价是 $1,...

发布时间:2017-11-29英语幽默童趣笑话

1. The couple next door gave birth to a black boy. 隔壁的夫妇生了一个黑人小孩。 Little Henry told his mother close by, It must be why the couple smoke. They not only blacken themselves but also the ba...

发布时间:2017-11-29英语幽默5个小笑话

1. Guest:Bub, do you go to school? 客人:“小家伙,你上学了吗?” boy:What good shall I go to school? I cant read or write? 孩子:“我上学有什么好处?我不会读,也不会写。” 2. The librarian went over ...

发布时间:2017-11-28英语笑话:视力训练 Visual training

The squad were having “visual training”. One smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field.The party was so faraway that the men appeared...

发布时间:2017-11-28小笨霖英语笔记本之英文乌龙笑话

1. I ordered a sandwich, not a hamburger! 我点的是三明治, 不是汉堡! 记得有一次和老美去餐厅用餐, 我点了一个三明治 (sandwich) , 结果端出来的却是一个汉堡 (hamburger). 我大惑不解地问我朋友, 我不是点三明治...

发布时间:2017-11-28英语短篇幽默笑话集锦

When they’re together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. “All right, you two,” I said sternly. “No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting,...

发布时间:2017-11-27The Choice of Word选词英语笑话

One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said Da-Dy to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought h...

发布时间:2017-11-27怕老婆的丈夫英语笑话

The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives.He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man wh...

发布时间:2017-11-27停止打你老婆英语笑话

This story is told of a browbeating counsel,who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponents witnesses. One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations. “I want‘yes...

发布时间:2017-11-26英语幽默笑话吝啬的家伙

Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town. Let’s go to the fair, Matt, his wife said. We haven’t been anywhere for...

发布时间:2017-11-26Excellent Skills英语幽默笑话

After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and w...