英语笑话_笑话网

英语笑话

英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法,用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。幽默寓于笑话之中,它是笑话的精料,智慧之所在。笑话是幽默的载体,一个成功的笑话能流传千古,听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜,拍掌叫好!
英语笑话

1英语笑话短文

1、The Fish Net

Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

鱼网

你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安? 老师发问道。

把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。 小女孩回答道。

2、The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....

新老师

9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。

乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗? 妈妈问。

妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。

2英语笑话带翻译

《律师、宝马和胳膊》

一个律师打开他的宝马车门,突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了,警察赶到现场,律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。

“警察同志,看看他们把我的车弄的!!!”律师哀怨地说。

“你们律师真是物质至上,我很不舒服!”警察反驳说,“你这么关心你可恶的宝马,你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。”

律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀,“天哪,我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

《狗住旅店》

一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信,“我非常希望带着我的狗,它很干净很有教养,你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”

旅馆主人立即回了封信,“我经营旅馆很多年了,狗从没偷过毛巾,床单, 餐具,或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它,狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆,如果它为您担保,也欢迎您来。

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

发布时间:2017-11-28英语短篇幽默笑话集锦

When they’re together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. “All right, you two,” I said sternly. “No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting,...

发布时间:2017-11-27The Choice of Word选词英语笑话

One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said Da-Dy to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought h...

发布时间:2017-11-27怕老婆的丈夫英语笑话

The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives.He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man wh...

发布时间:2017-11-27停止打你老婆英语笑话

This story is told of a browbeating counsel,who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponents witnesses. One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations. “I want‘yes...

发布时间:2017-11-26英语幽默笑话吝啬的家伙

Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town. Let’s go to the fair, Matt, his wife said. We haven’t been anywhere for...

发布时间:2017-11-26Excellent Skills英语幽默笑话

After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and w...

发布时间:2017-11-26借公牛一用英语笑话

Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didnt know any words. One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man...

发布时间:2017-11-25One side of the case 英语笑话

A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand. I cant hear out of my left ear, the man told the judge. Can you hear out of your right ear? t...

发布时间:2017-11-25心不在焉的老师英语笑话

An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter,the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him sa...

发布时间:2017-11-25英语笑话: The Two Words

What Are The Two Words?A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter.“My dear,” said the old lady,“I wish you would do something for me.I wish you would promise me never to ...

发布时间:2017-11-24利用幽默笑话辅助英语教学的尝试

从事教学生涯已20余年, 光阴荏苒,蓦然回首,回味起来真是感慨万千!有成功喜悦时,也有索然无味时。走过的脚印弯弯曲曲、深深浅浅……每当提到课堂教学这一环节时:我总是积极全身心地投身于融洽的教学环境中,与学生们互...

发布时间:2017-11-24想做坏梦英语幽默笑话

Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, Mom, I had a dream last night that Id passed todays exam.Dont trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be th...

发布时间:2017-11-24愚人节的英语幽默笑话有哪些

1.-what the day is it today? -today is april foolsday. -oh!you are wrong today is march the 31th.if you dont believe me please pick up the calendar. -oh!it is really april foolsday. -haha!you were che...

发布时间:2017-11-18中考英语笑话一则阅读理解复习

A driver stopped his car on a street side to have a rest.As he lay down in the seat and closed his eyes,a person came up and knocked(敲)at the window to ask the time.The driver opened his eyes and lo...

发布时间:2017-11-10不要闹笑话之中国人常犯的英语口语错误详细介绍

黑眼圈怎么说? 黑眼圈是panda eyes? 工作很劳累,有时会出现“黑眼圈”,中国人常译成“pandaeyes”,很形象呵,而实际上,在英语中它的地道表达是:“bags under youreyes”,即你有眼袋了。黑眼圈如果用black eye...

发布时间:2017-11-04老师与学生英语对话时候闹出来的笑话

1. TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: George! 2. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with I...

发布时间:2017-11-03英语笑话为抄近路走墓地

The Cemetery Shortcut 为抄近路走墓地 Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. 万圣节派对过后,两男人图个乐呵,打算抄近路穿...

发布时间:2017-11-02英语幽默笑话范例:Eating out

英语幽默笑话:Eating out Eating out 外出就餐 When the bill arrives ,Mark, Chris ,Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20,even though its only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none...

发布时间:2017-11-02飞行员会飞吗英语笑话

Can pilots fly? 飞行员会飞吗? The Great Lakes Laboratoryemployed a licensed boat captain for its research vessel.It was common knowledge that the captain couldnt swim. When newcomers learned of this,...

发布时间:2017-11-02英语幽默笑话故事百万富翁

Millionaire 百万富翁 CEO: My wife made a millionaire out of me. CEO:我妻子使我成为百万富翁。 Assistant: What were you before?“ 助手:以前你是什么? CEO:”a multimillionaire.“ CEO:千万宣翁。 英语笑...